Attitude for Gratitude?
Living and working gratefully is to feel good and do good. Gratitude is the social glue that bonds family, friends, colleagues and communities.
Gratitude is the practice of being aware of and thankful for the good things in life and work. At work, 88% of people say that gratitude makes them feel happier, and 93% agree that a grateful boss is more likely to succeed. Yet, all too often we focus on what is wrong. Only 10% of people express gratitude at work, and 60% almost never do. Still, our lives have many great things. Even in this time of soaring infection, social distancing, and economic downturn, people have found ways to express gratitude for the people fighting in the COVID-19 pandemic front lines.
What is your attitude for gratitude? Practicing gratitude is a simple and scientifically proven way to increase happiness in work and life. Instead of dwelling on what is missing, gratitude is a practice of savoring who and what make the good in life possible (McCullough et al., 2002). The language of gratitude focuses on the positive impact a person or experience has made on our lives. If you feel like you have to pay someone back, this is being indebted. Instead of paying it back begrudgingly, recognizing the good and its sources motivates an urge to pay it forward.
In many European countries, for example, people are expressing gratitude for the work of the medical staff by clapping from their balconies. Recently, this same practice has migrated to New York City.
How grateful are you?
What people or experiences are grateful for? Find out how grateful you are by taking this quick self-assessment. For some people, gratitude is a way of life. For others, gratitude does not come naturally. It is easy to get sideswiped by all that you feel is wrong or missing. Being grateful is a conscious shift in thinking from what is lacking to appreciating everyone and everything that is already great. It is knowing that life owes you nothing. Do not despair if finding reasons for gratitude is hard for you. You can increase your attitude for gratitude and bring more satisfaction into your life.
Robert Emmons, the leading psychologist on gratitude, says cultivating feelings of gratitude has two components. First, gratitude is an affirmation of goodness. All the good things in the world we have received. Second, the self recognition that the source of gratitude comes from the gifts — big and small — that others give to us. Gratitude is like a muscle. The more you practice it, the stronger it becomes. Adding gratitude to your life can make you happier, healthier and more satisfied. Grateful thinking is scientifically proven to increase happiness by as much as 25% (Emmons, 2008). Practicing gratitude regularly can strengthen more meaningful relationships, foster joy, love, peace, optimism, hope, and cultivate a happier, healthier and thriving life (Seligman, 2011; Emmons, 2008).
Feelings of gratitude motivate greater goal achievement and boost wellbeing, mental health, positivity, and more satisfaction in life and at work. Research from Harvard University shows that a simple thank you has the power to increase productivity by more than 50%. In fact, 81% of people say they would work harder for a grateful boss.
Ultimately, when we express our gratitude to others, we strengthen our relationship with them. You are never too young, too old, too poor or too rich to live and work gratefully. As we express our gratitude, a positive ripple effect is generated through every area of our lives, in others, and in our world. — NFG
Count Your Blessings
Practicing gratitude can make you happier! Counting your blessings is one of the most effective ways for increasing your gratitude and happiness. Take a few minutes each day to reflect. Identify three things from the day for which you are grateful. For example, how your manager gave you feedback. Ask yourself what made each experience evoke your sense of gratitude. Make a mental note or say each one out loud. Better yet, write them down.
“There are two kinds of gratitude: the sudden kind we feel for what we take; the larger kind we feel for what we give.”
Write a Gratitude Letter
Nurture your professional or personal relationships by writing a letter to express your gratitude for the positive impact someone has had on your career or life (Seligman, 2011). Think of a person who did something that helped change your life for the better. Someone who you have yet to thank in a meaningful way. This could be a family member, friend, classmate, professor, coach, boss or colleague. It might even be a person you have not thought of in a while.
1. Who are you grateful for? Write a letter of gratitude to this person. Write it as if you were having a face-to-face conversation.
2. What did this person do? In the letter, explain what this person did for you.
3. How did this change your life? Specifically describe how this changed your life for the better.
4. What are you doing now? Tell this person you remember what they did and how this influenced what you are doing now.
Instead of thanking John for his help, say: “John, I am grateful for the time you made to give me your advice about how to find my first real job after I graduated from college. I followed all your advice and landed a job at my first choice company. Now, I think of you with much appreciation every time I pass along job search tips to college seniors.”
5. How does this make you feel? Focus your thoughts and feelings in the letter. Don’t worry about format or spelling. Aim to write one page or about 250 single spaced words.
6. Share Letter. Deliver the letter in person or via Zoom. Let the person know you would like to express your gratitude to them for helping you by reading a letter you wrote. When you meet, slowly read the letter out loud. Quietly notice your reaction and theirs, and be open to discussing together. At the end of the meeting, give the letter to the person. If you are meeting via Zoom, use the file share in the chat box to share your letter or email it to the person as a follow-up to your conversation. Expressing gratitude through a letter can help strengthen your relationships with others in a thoughtful, purposeful way.
